Oh, hey! Remember me? It's been a minute. This motherhood thing, y'all. I tell ya. I've wanted to be a mom my entire life but being a stay at home mom is the hardest job I've ever had. Nothing could have prepared me for this.
Olivia has been cutting a top tooth for weeks now and she has been SO irritable and reverted to nursing 6 or 7 times a day instead of just nursing before naps and bed time. She has been wanting me to entertain her all day long, crying if I get up to try and go to the bathroom, let alone attempt to clean house or do the dishes. One minute she's content and playing and the next minute she's crying and wanting to be held and freaking out if I try and put her down. I love this feisty, opinionated little person SO MUCH she has no idea. It's hard to see her so emotional and not really know what she needs or how to help. At this age, they can't control their emotions and often those emotions come out as slapping and throwing things and screaming. It's emotionally taxing and personally, I find it difficult to keep my cool a lot of the time. I huff and puff and sometimes raise my voice in frustration, but I'm reminding myself that she needs me to be the calm in her storm. I have to keep it together when she can't, even when I don't feel like I have it in me. It's. A. Lot.
Sorry for all that. Sometimes moms just need to vent.
Even though there are rough parts of motherhood, I wouldn't change it for the world. For every tough day there are twice as many extremely happy days. There are hard moments and rewarding ones. Like when she sees Gil walk through the door and says "daddy!", or when we are out and about and she points to every fluffy thing and says "puppy!". I love watching her figure out how to work her favorite toys and learn new skills like putting a ball in a cup and playing peek-a-boo. And now, she's WALKING! I'm so insanely proud of her and I can't believe how time is flying. So I will hold on to every difficult moment as if it were my last because every night when I kiss her little head and I nurse her to sleep, I remember that she will never be this little again.
xoxo- Rachel
